School shootings are, unfortunately, common enough in America that there are familiar tropes in the coverage and public reactions. Of course, there are the political responses: gun control, mental health, etc. But one of the most common public reactions is to ask, “Where were the parents?” This may seem like an unnecessarily cruel question to pose in the moment, as the parents in question have often lost their children, either figuratively or literally. However, it is a fair question to ask ethically, and lately, the courts have decided it is a fair question to ask legally.

As a parent, I don’t even know everything my toddler does throughout the day, so I can imagine how much harder it is for the parents of, say, a teenager. But honestly, I have grown very tired of parents claiming not to notice their children assembling small arsenals of weapons in their bedrooms. There has not been a major shooting yet that came without red flags. Yes, hindsight is 20/20, but parents are often willfully blind.

In the case of Columbine High School, the most infamous school shooting of all time, the shooter’s mom, Sue Klebold, initially didn’t believe her son was responsible when she was told. By her own admission, she didn’t believe it until she saw the videos—which is crazy because investigators found bomb-making materials and a diary with plans for the massacre in Dylan Klebold’s bedroom. I was a latchkey kid; my mom rarely bothered me in my room. But I was scarcely able to stay up late and play PlayStation without her knowing.

At least Dylan didn’t use his mother’s own weapons to carry out the shooting, which is increasingly becoming a theme. In the Santa Fe High School shooting, the shooter used his father’s weapon. In an incident at an elementary school in Virginia, a six-year-old used his mother’s weapon to shoot his teacher.

The Santa Fe shooter’s parents were recently let off the hook by the court. In the latter case, the court did find the six-year-old’s mother liable, and she was sentenced to prison time. Many thought this sentence was too harsh and questioned why other parents of school shooters didn’t get the same treatment.

I’m not here to comment on the sentence or jail time. But I am here to say that if your six-year-old shoots his teacher with your gun, it is definitely your fault.

The liability of parents certainly runs on a spectrum, and not every parent is equally culpable in their child’s rampage. But these incidents do not occur without warning and do not occur in a vacuum. As a society that requires teachers to report everything under the sun, we must acknowledge that, ethically and legally, parents are responsible in some part for the actions of their children.